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Posts Tagged ‘Emotional’

The Silver Line

There is a silver line in everything. It has always been there, and it will always be there, it’s just that most of the time we don’t see it.

Do you know what is the silver line? It is that little line which separates the good from the evil, the sane from the insane, right from wrong, love from hate…

Can you find the silver line?

I always cannot find it.

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Flunked NSL Practical

Okay, so I totally flunked my NSL practical today. I don’t know what happened, the moment I stepped into the room, my mind just went totally blank. All I could do was stare at the equipments, thinking to myself:” I know I am supposed to do something with them. The thing is: WHAT?”I had a good cry after I got home. I have never failed NSL practical and it just makes me feel so incompetent.

They will arrange a practice session for me and then a restest for me on Thursday. I just hope that I can get it cleared by Thursday.

I must get over this diappointment and move on. I must do really well in the other papers so that my this failure will not look so bad.

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School Printers

Urgh…Can’t the school get a few decent printers?As my home computer cannot print PDF file and my lecturer’s notes are all in PDF format, I had no choice but to go to school to print. I arrived at school at 11am. I went straight to the printing shop at canteen 2 to print. I managed to print three lecture notes with no problem. When it came to the forth one, as the file is too big, it took the printer a long time to print that lecture note. The computer nearly hanged, but good thing it didn’t. By that time, there were so many people in the shop that I thought I had better not hog onto the computer for too long. So I paid for the four lecture notes and went to the Meridien Hotel to pass something to someone very special through the help of a friend. It’s a long story, so I shall not bore you to death with it. It took me almost two hours to make the trip there and back to my school to continue my battle with the PDF files. I met my friend at the library (I think I studied too much. She asked me to help her buy bottled Ice Lemon Tea and I got her bottled Mango Tea instead. She nearly fainted. Good thing she did not, or else I would have to do CPR on her and I am very sure she would not have wanted that to happen. We had to go back to the shop to get it changed). I tried printing the last PDF file using the printer at the libray, but apparently, it is a generic printer and cannot print it the way I want it to. So we made our way up to Block 81 climbing the bloody slope. We could not print it using the first printer, so we had to use the printer in the next room. By the time I finally made it to the SIM bus stop, it was already 5.05pm.
Urgh…

I thought time would help me to ease my pain, but I miss him even more as time passes by. What do I do? Sometimes I really wish he would just appear beside me unexpectedly, so that I don’t feel that painful…

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Life is so Fragile

I just finished watching this Taiwanese drama serial on Youtube called Silence, which is also known as Shen Qing Mi Ma. It is acted by Vic Zhou (Zhou Yu Min), Andy Hui (Xu Zhi An) and that Korean actress who acted in Da Chang Jin. It really made me think of a lot of stuuf.

I realised that life can be so fragile. One minute you are fine and the next minute you can be diagnosed with cancer and only have three more months to live. What would you do if you only have three more months to live? How would you spend the precious three months? What do you want to accomplish in the three months? What should you do to bring the level of hurt to the minimum for the people you love and those who loves you?

As Eudora said: “You can plan and plan for the future and sometimes it all goes wrong. Living for the moment has its own special blend of insanity, spontaneity and attraction that sometimes only two people can share.” So, I have decide to live everyday now as if I am going to die the next day. It’s going to be hard with all the stresses in life, but I will try.

I don’t need much in relationships. I just need someone who can love me silently, hold me in his arms and tell me that everything is alright when I am hurting, who can sit down together with me and just spend the whole afternoon reading books in a park or something. Love can be so simple and I am glad I have already found that special someone. Thank you, dear.

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I Cry by Yuri Chika

I just heard this song “I Cry” by this Japanese singer named Yuri Chika. It really describes how I am feeling right now. The lyrics are as such:

Every night I find it so hard to sleep

Cause I keep thinking of you

And these feelings from deep

Oh baby I try to hide all these feelings for you

I keep them all out of sight

I don’t know what else to do

So I cry

But nobody hears me I cry

It’s my only solution I cry

To all this confusion I cry

With all of my heart I cry

Sometimes I wonder in the blink of an eye

Would you be willing to love me

Would you give it a try

I don’t know how else to show you

That our love could be real

I’ll be eternally faithful

Forever I’d feel

So I cry

But nobody hears me I cry

It’s my only solution I cry

To all this confusion I cry

With all of my heart I cry

No one can tell me that I should let you go

Cause I know in my heart

This feeling still running strong
Can’t get you out of my head

Can’t get you out of my heart

Can’t get you out of my life

No matter if we’re apart

So I cry

But nobody hears me I cry

It’s my only solution I cry

To all this confusion I cry

With all of my heart I cry

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Depression

I am feeling realy depressed now. My mentor just talked to me just now. She said she is very disappointed in me. There will be 44 students from China who will be joining us this year in April as students of the third batch of students of Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Health Sciences (Nursing). She said she was really happy when she knew that there is a China student in her class. She wanted to have a model for the China students but I disappointed her. Then, before we parted, she told me that another lecturer had high hopes for me, but I disapoointed him too.

I was really unhappy with my marks, but I never knew that by doing badly in the examinations, I would be letting so many people down. What’s more, the two lecturers who were disappointed in me are two of the lecturers that I really like a lot. I never knew so many people had such high hopes for me. I always thought that I am that quiet little girl whom nobody takes much notice of.

I really have to do well in this end-of-year examinations which is just around the corner. I want to get all As and B’s for all the modules. It is going to be really tough, but I am sure I can do it. So, how do I go about doing that?
Chen Ying suggestd that I revise what I have just learnt during the weekdays and revise the things that I have learnt in term 1 during the weekends. It sounds like a good plan. She wants me to start revising early, so I guess I have to start like right now…

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